Before I found the Long Dong of the Law I was on the brink of a huge divorce, she took the kids and the dog. That fucking dog, she didn’t even like the fucking thing. Anyways, after I found the Long Dong I had a lot more fun in my free time and wasn’t just wallowing in sadness. Kids enjoy shooting the thing, too. Wife doesn’t, bonus points for that!

Before I found The Long Dong of the Law ™ I was just a meta cuck, spending all of my roubles on weapons that I would just inevitably lose to a shotgun scav or a mosin man. Now, the only thing I spend my roubles on is THICC cases to store the gear that I take off the men I kill. 10/10

After only a week of using the Long Donger it feels like an extension of my body. It feels so natural to use it and I will never go back to other, inferior guns. Get your Long Donger today!

The long dong is such a great piece. Shoots straight, shoots strong, and if you prepare right you can shoot it all night long. Anyone on the fence should get one when they can. It won’t disappoint you or those on the receiving end.

The long donger is great. It’s just heavy enough and feels really good in the hands. Bumpy around the edges but smooth where it counts. I have found that when running it can drag the ground a bit. The long donger is solid with good girth.

My life changed! The day I found the long donger was the day I was never alone. I learned to care for mine so that it cared for me. Me and my long donger came a long way, and I hope others find the salvation of the long donger themselves!